i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
