Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
