Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
