i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
