I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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