yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Pants are for mortals
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize