pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
