its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
