I hope mine doesn't look like that
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize