Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
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come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video