When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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