i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
