i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I would ride that face into the sunset
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
