Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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