I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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