if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize