i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
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There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?