are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize