Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I DEMAND FORESKIN
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
