If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
