Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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