I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
