There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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