Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Randomize
