Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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