You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
