i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
