I wish life had little blips of pornography
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
