Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
