I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize