its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
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Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
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we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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