That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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