Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
You smell like stripper and shame
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
