Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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