took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
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Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
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Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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