wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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