I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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