operation harelip BJ is a go
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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