Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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