there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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