He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
