ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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