Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize