You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I accidentally had phone sex last night
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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