Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I could have mohawked her pubes.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
