u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
it was like eating out sand paper
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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