it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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