Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize