All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
