Only a mothe r could love this liver
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
