Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Randomize
