I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
