I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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