ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Still dying that you shit outside
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
