i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i just had sex bonerless
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
