Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
