My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We left an ass print on the piano.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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