In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
