Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
