So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I'm eating all of the evidence.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize