Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i will never coherently bang her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
How does one acquire holy water?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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