Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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