The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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