All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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