Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
