it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
