but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
