Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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